AFL Round 22

Let's get ready to rumble. Or, if you're my team, stumble. Or if you're a Sydneysider's intestines, grumble (OK, OK…). And could we please introduce heavy fines and mandatory purchase of a thesaurus for over-use of the word "scenario". By the way, our friends at Footy Tipping Software have a final-8 calculator at: http://www.footy.com.au/dags/final8/final8.htm

At the MCG:

North Melbourne  2.3    5.4  10.8   17.11.113
Footscray        4.6    8.8  11.10  16.12.108

A few of us thought this heavily-hyped clash for top spot might be a dud, as under the final 8 system there's no advantage in finishing first over second. Boy were we wrong as the Roos and Dogs fought pouch and collar to produce an absolute ripper. North's ninth consecutive win created a club record and saw them finish top, the Bulldogs weren't disgraced. The Kangas would be extra-happy as the late withdrawal of Martyn left them lacking in defence. Mick was replaced by Hewitt, aging forward Crocker was dropped for Anderson. No change for Footscray.

The big-game fanfare drew 68,000 to headquarters. The Dogs had Croft on Carey while North stationed Archer at full back and McCartney on Chris Grant. Footscray spearhead Cook hit the post with the first shot before North's Blakey set up the first goal, for Pike. But with defenders crowding Carey in the "paddock" and Grant running wild, the Dogs forged ahead. Hudson kicked their first major from a free, then Cook led to Grant's pass, marked and copped a late whack from Pickett - in the head, of course. 50m and goal. Romero suckered North backmen into a free and another goal. Carey was awarded a rubbish mark in the pocket but postered. Footscray bombarded the goals to little effect before Carey's slick handpass allowed Freeborn to kick a nice major from a rare North sortie. At the other end Cook missed a simple shot but just before quarter time Cameron's huge kick down the guts caught Roo defenders in no-man's land and Hudson scored. North exerted heavy attacking pressure in the second term. After another Cook miss King's long kick-in found Blakey who had 4 bounces before slotting superbly from 45m, then Carey escaped Croft to kick 2 goals in a minute, suddenly North led by 2 points. But the Pups steadied to kick the next four. Mark West came on to give 'em a lift and his clever tap led to the first of these, a running shot for Dimattina. Then Grant got one after a lead, an unconfident Cook handballed for Cameron to smack a huge roost through and finally Hudson majored from a free. The Dogs had all the answers, it seemed.

Third quarter was similar to the second, North did all the early attacking. Capuano had come on to ruck while McKernan played full forward, Carey ventured further afield to get more involved. Brent Harvey roved to Carey for an early goal. Dog defender Curley was caught as he ran from defence and the turnover led to a major for McKernan, cutting the Pups' lead to 8 points, then Harvey snapped truly and Footscray led by 2 points. But once again the Bulldogs dug deep for an answer. They got rapid consecutive goals from Smith's aggressive running and penentrating kicks, Kolyniuk and Grant getting the sausages. A tight, rugged spell before Martin snapped accurately for the Bullies and they led by 19 points. Chris Grant was still starring and Pagan replaced McCartney with Archer. North crept close just before the final change with goals from ruckmen Capuano and McKernan, the latter from a fine mark and long kick. The final quarter was a classic of speed, violence and scoring. At one point McAvaney, the master of understatement, called it "the finest last quarter ever played." Well he'd know...wouldn't he? The Roos continued with the early momentum, a long Sholl kick was soccered through by Carey, Simpson cleared the next centre bounce and his mongrel punt flopped into the arms of...Carey, he converted and North led by 5 points. Bulldogs responded again, Johnson found Grant on the lead and it was Pups by a point. Sholl scored with a huge kick - North by 5 - Bulldog Mark West collected the next centre bounce and handballed for Cameron to launch another magnificent drop punt through the sticks. Dogs by 1. The match continued at a furious pace, from the next restart Sholl raced away only to hit the post and level the scores. A Hudson goal after McCartney was caught in possession gave the Bullies a one-goal lead. Another centre clearance, this time for North, saw Anthony Stevens snap a major to tie it up although Dog Dent protested vehemently that he'd touched it through, with some justification. Footscray went a goal ahead again when Grant won a free against McCartney. Sholl postered again and Bulldog Garlick missed before Cook crashed into Robert Scott after the North little man held a gutsy mark. Cook was reported, a 50m penalty and the goal levelled the scores again. Not much doubt we were seeing the top pair in action. Kanga Shannon Grant kicked North 6 points clear, now Cameron hit the post before Carey took a strong grab 70m out. He torpedoed to the goalsquare where Harvey snapped another Roo goal, North by 11 points with 2 minutes left. The whistle was well and truly put away, to the Dogs' detriment a few times, before Curley created a goal for Smith and the Pups were 5 points down with under a minute left. But that was it. Phew.

Many good players, for North Stevens worked hard for 30 disposals and a goal, Blakey did well on Smith and contributed 20 touches and a goal. Carey wasn't a dominant force but managed to do the crucial things that allowed North to win, he kicked 4 goals from 7 marks and 14 kicks. Pike and Simpson were important midfield, at the back Pickett's hardness was to the fore and Archer held Cook to one goal (and four behinds) while later slowing Grant. Sholl had a big second half on the wing. Harvey lurked for 3 goals and McKernan bagged 2. Chris Grant was superb for the Bulldogs with 20 disposals, 9 marks and 4 goals, in the middle Romero (33 posessions, a goal) and Scott West (22 touches) battled away. Johnson was good on his wing while Liberatore tagged King out of it on the other flank. Cameron attacked brilliantly off the defensive flank for 21 touches and 2 goals, Dent was handy in a more defensive role and Croft fought hard on Carey. Hudson was good with 4 goals, 3 from free kicks. "We lose the opportunity of being the top side for the season and that's something we worked for," said Wallace. "From the start of the season we were there far more often than anyone else and we had an opportunity of nailing that position for the first time in the club's history. It was disappointing, but I don't think we lost many admirers." Pagan said "We've done well in the home-and-away but let's forget about that now. We discussed the process of what we should be focussing on...have a few beers but get plenty of sleep."

At the MCG:

Geelong   4.5    9.8   14.9   19.13.127
Essendon  6.0   10.3   15.6   18.9 117

The Dons were plunged into brief crisis as they became the first of a couple of teams to discover there's none so dangerous as an opponent with players' futures on the line. Cats who'd barely gotten a kick all year, like Burns, McKinnon and Lynch, climbed out of the trading/delisting grave to deliver a memorable win. Richmond's subsequent loss put the Dons into the finals. In the lead-up the entire Geelong board announced they'd be resigning in December, ostensibly to allow the clubs' articles of association to be re-written so they can operate a gaming venue in Melbourne. However it will also bring to a head the bitter off-field fighting which has wracked the club for 2 years, president and club stalwart Ron Hovey announced he won't be seeking re-election. In selection for this game the Cats duly lost Steinfort and Hamish Simpson with hamstring strains suffered last week, replacements were McKinnon and new player Matthew Scarlett from local school St Joseph's. Scarlett's dad was a Cat. The Bombers lost O'Connor with a hammy and dumped Olarenshaw, Berbakov and Somerville to recall Alessio, Fletcher, Symons and Eastaugh.

Even start, Alessio kicked the first goal and the activity of Lloyd (3 first-quarter goals), Hird and Lucas on the Dons' forward line suggested a long afternoon ahead for the Cats. But they did alright, Hocking and Milburn were busy enough midfield and they got goals from Milburn, Hall and Roberts. Essadun kicked the first three majors of the second term, Hird slotted a goody and successive handling errors from Cat ruckman King saw Mercuri then Lucas convert. The Bombers led by 26 points and must've been comfortable given 9 goals normally sees the Cats beaten. Ayres moved Colbert to attack and McKinnon to full forward and, begolly, it worked. McKinnon and Colbert scored, Lynch got busy too as Geelong stayed close. Their revival continued into the third term, King and Hocking started to control the centre while the Dons chipped the ball around to little effect. Hird worked manically to keep his mob alive. Geelong led by 15 points before a couple of Don goals, the second scored by Hird, cut it back to 3. Lynch grubbed the ball forward, Burns pounced and blasted it through although replays suggested he was over the goal-line in kicking it. Essendon led once more after Calthorpe cleared the next bounce, a lovely Misiti handpass saw Cockatoo-Collins kick an easy goal. However Hocking cleared the next centre contest and Spinks held a rare grab, Barnard cleverly slapped the ball away after the event giving the Spinkter a 50m penalty and easy major. However the ledger was squared just before the final break when Cat Lowther kicked the ball away after Bomber Lucas won a free kick, a 50m and simple major for him.

Into the last and Geelong pinched the lead back when Burns roved Spinks and curled a beautiful left-foot snap for full points. Lynch wobbled a left-footer for a goal and it was the Cats by 9 points. Mansfield blew a chance to extend the lead, but it only seemed a matter of time. King was killing the Bombers in the ruck while the Dons themselves looked tired and uncertain, time and again Rahilly, Bizzell and Mansfield swallowed their poor kicks forward. Eventually defender Wellman drifted forward to kick a good goal and cut the margin to 4 points. But then Hocking soccered the ball into attack, Mensch grabbed it, baulked impossibly and his long shot bounced at right-angles through the big sticks. After Lynch somehow squeezed a snap between the posts as he was tackled Geelong led by 16 points, it became 22 when Burns kicked a long goal straight from the next bounce. Just about over, Lloyd managed two good late goals which turned out to have percentage value only.

Ronnie Burns, described during the week as "highly tradeable", produced at just the right time with 22 disposals and 3 goals. Hocking was superb in the middle with 33 possessions and ruckman King highly influential with 19 disposals and 11 marks. Milburn and Sholl also did well midfield while Mansfield (20 touches, 12 marks) and Bizzell (13 marks) were good at the back. Up forward Paul Lynch suggested what he could do if he stayed fit with 5 goals from 14 kicks, McKinnon and Mensch (2 goals each) were handy too. An extra feature was marking - Geelong do chip it around a lot, but they took 133 marks to Essendon's 67. The Dons had two stand-outs but most of the rest went missing. Hird tried as hard as humanly possible to lift his side with 34 possessions, 8 marks and 3 goals. Matthew Lloyd booted another 6 goals in a fine display. Johnson worked hard in the centre and Bewick had 19 touches and a goal on half-forward. Barnard did alright at full back and Eastaugh had a good first half in the ruck before being overpowered in the second. Lucas kicked 2 goals. Overall the Bombers seemed tired, slow and lacking in confidence. Sheedy reckoned "It's very disappointing not to grab our chance...it would be one of the most disappointing losses in my time here. You can talk about hunger and want for victory, but you've got to act on it." He suggested tiredness as a reason...from what? Cat coach Ayres said "It wasn't anything special (WHAT!!?), as far as where we set ourselves over the last month...at least we've had a 50 percent success rate over the last month. We've been under a fair amount of duress with certain things throughout the last 10 weeks, but we were going to make it hard for Essendon today and the boys certainly did that." Injuries, particularly to big men, have hit the Cats this year but I don't reckon Ayres can coach. And they still need a key forward, Spinks proved to be a dud. However they unearthed some very promising young players in Bizzell, Wood, Rahilly and Simpson The Bombers get to be squished by North next week.

At Waverley:

Hawthorn   4.3    8.5   11.14   22.17.149
Fremantle  1.2    5.5    8.6     9.6.60

The Hawks celebrated Jason Dunstall's final game with their fifth consecutive win over a depleted Docker rabble, setting them up for next season. Most of the Fremantle heirarchy stayed home to finalise their offer to Damian Drum as their new coach. Dunstall announced his retirement on TV last Wednesday and was recalled after 8 weeks out with a broken collarbone. Rawlings made way. It was "Bunghole"'s 269th game, he finished with 1254 goals (3rd highest overall), 4 flags, 4 club best-and-fairests, 3 John Coleman Medals (leading goalkicker in a season) and was Hawthorn's leading goalkicker 11 times. Not a bad career. Fremantle limped to the close, they lost Shane Parker, Koops (both knee injuries), Kickett (groin strain) and Wills (rolled ankle) from last week, in came Godden, Clucas, Dhurrkay and Heath Black.

The Hawk fans were all excited when Dunstall duly snapped the first goal as he shrugged off Carroll. But he found goals hard to come by after that as Carroll did well. Hunter screwed a freakish snap through for a goal at the other end but the Hawk midfield, particularly Crawford and Hassall, kept sending the ball forward. Lekkas got a goal and Lord kicked two. Two more goals for Lord opened the second stanza but Freo worked back into it, Burton was beating Salmon in the ruck and Callaghan and Fletcher worked hard on the ground. They closed but more majors for Lord and Chick kept the Hawks in front at the long break. Close early in the third term before the Hawks eased clear, Treleven did well and Croad came off the bench to do well at the back, Graham was moved into attack. Chick and Holland got some goals, but wayward shooting prevented a match-winning break. With the match still to be won and his knees hurting, Dunstall asked to be benched at the final change but Judge insisted he stay on. Clearly the umpires appreciated the move as they allowed Dunstall to blatantly push Carroll in the back for a mark and goal early in the final stanza. It precipitated a goal avalanche for the Hawks, Graham got a couple, Chick and Treleven a brace each too as Judge shuffled his players around while the tiring Dockers folded poorly, as last week. On the siren Dunstall was chaired around a lap of honour in front of the healthy 40K who'd turned up.

Dunstall kicked 2 goals in his final game and Carroll beat him on the day, confirming that big Jase made the correct decision. Aaron Lord was the key for the Hawks with 6 goals from 13 kicks, 5 majors coming in the first half. Did he play in the back pocket at Geelong? (More probably, not at all). Crawford (28 disposals, a goal), Hassall (27 touches), Taylor and Treleven outnumbered and outgathered the Docker midfield while Harford and Graham did well at the back, it was the slightly overshadowed 100th game for Graham who was shifted to the forward pocket in the second half and kicked 2 goals. Holland, coming out of contract, had 28 disposals and 9 marks at CHF, just the one goal. Chick had a good second half and kicked 4 goals, Lekkas and Treleven got 2 each. For the Dockers Callaghan had 36 disposals and a goal, Fletcher got 27 touches. Burton (2 goals) did well before tiredness and Salmon overcame him, Sinclair and Gale did alright and we've already mentioned Carroll on Dunstall. Hunter and Chisholm kicked 2 goals each. Neesham again declined to talk to the press afterwards. Farewell to Gerry, a thankless task taking on a bunch of raw kids in a new team. Folks will remember his entertaining possession-game style and, unfortunately, some excellent players the Dockers gave away under his reign. It almost looked like they'd made it early in the year with consecutive wins over Essendon and North, before injuries and lack of stamina told. Judge said "In the first half we were just a bit overawed by the whole (Dunstall retirement) thing. In our third quarter we started to get together a bit better and peppered the goals a bit...the last quarter was a good way to finish for Jason and for the year."

At the Gabba:

Brisbane  0.6   3.12   8.16   12.20.92
St. Kilda 2.4   6.7    8.10   13.13.91

The Saints limped into the finals as they also fell victim to the contract-time Lions and their own lack of confidence. Afterwards Alves grunted his way monosyllabically through a press conference, repeating the words "too many passengers" like a mantra. Of the Lions' five wins this year, two came over St. Kilda. In selection the Lions lost Al Lynch and Brad Scott to hamstring injuries and McRae was dropped, replacements were Bradshaw, Black and Hart. The Saints recalled Winmar and regained Burke and Keogh from injury, Darryl Wakelin copped a ridiculous 2-week suspension for charging Heady last Saturday - a decision upheld on appeal - Young was out with more back trouble and Bardsley was discarded.

Ordinary first half marked by some terrible goalshooting, the Lions got plenty of it in the middle through Boyd and Hart while wingers Chris Scott (on Harvey) and Bamford collected a heap of early kicks. But no-one could kick straight. Jones and Mitchell were busy for the Saints and Everitt gave them a target in attack. Lappin set up Brisbane’s first goal early in the second term for Bamford, but they crawled along to 1.10 before goals for Saint ruckmen Everitt and Cook saw them lead at half time. A couple of goals each in the third quarter before Lion Bradshaw fired. He'd been statless in the first half as little Mitchell ran off him to good effect, but Bradshaw started to hold a couple of grabs and kicked 2 quick goals, Black kicked a running goal and suddenly the Lions led at the final change. They went on to kick the first 3 majors of the final term, from Bradshaw again, Lappin and Ashcroft to lead by 21 points. The Saints pulled one back but Bradshaw answered again and the visitors were facing defeat. But they rallied, Jones kicked 2 quick goals and their Matthew Lappin snapped another to cut the margin to a solitary point. Loewe's long shot was forced out for a throw-in, Cook grabbed the ball and kicked goalwards where a scramble ensued and Loewe soccered it through - after the siren, according to the umpire (he was right). Andy Bews, playing his last game, stood momentarily bewildered, then celebrated along with the locals.

For once the Brisbane midfielders did the job, Ashcroft had 28 disposals and 2 goals, Boyd 24 touches, Hart 18 kicks and a goal, Lappin 14 kicks and 2 goals, plus a couple of assists for Bradshaw. Chris Scott got 21 kicks against Harvey while Bamford played well too. Dickfos was good at full back while Bradshaw provided the spark and kicked 4 goals. For the Saints Everitt worked hard all over the ground for 18 touches, 8 marks and 3 goals and after a slowish start Harvey got 34 possessions and a goal (13 touches in the third quarter). Winmar returned with good game off half-back and Jones's form resurgence continued with 15 handlings and 2 goals. Loewe had his best game for a while with 24 possessions and 13 marks in the ruck, Knowles and McLaren weren't bad. Andy Thompson kicked 2 goals. "I find it very difficult to fathom that we were presented with a fantastic opportunity tonight yet had so many non-contributors," Alves said. "We had players out there who didn't have the feeling, didn't have the passion, didn't have the desire…couldn't live the dream with us and take us where we want to go…it's incredible to me." He named Heatley, Sziller, Young, Hall, Daniels and Beveridge as possible inclusions next week. Ah well, at least they've a good record in Sydney where they won by 15 goals this season. The end of a terrible season for the Lions, a talented list did little all year and saw coach Northey jettisoned halfway through. The odds on Leigh Matthews being their new coach are shortening rapidly. No quote here from Merrett in probably his final game of a brief coaching stint. No doubt he'll be back, somewhere.

At Subiaco:

West Coast  2.2    4.5    6.5   12.9.81
Adelaide    3.4    5.6   8.12  15.16.106

Another first for the Crows as they broke through over the Eagles in Perth. But wins the next day for Sydney and Melbourne denied them a home final, at least in the first round. The Eagles again played mostly in their own half until the game broke open towards the end and they scrambled for percentage which would've been important if the Tigers hadn't been so SOFT and SHITE the next day. Ahem. In selection the West Coast regained captain Worsfold and recalled Donnelly, out were Metropolis with 'flu and Williams was axed. The visitors also regained their captain, Mark Bickley and Kane Johnson, they also had a debutant in Sturt's Linden Stevens. Eccles was out with the hamstring he injured in last week's warm-up, Cook and club scapegoat Ormond-Allen were dropped.

Tight, tough first half with plenty of rugged tackling and close marking. With Ricciuto and Jarman firing the Cows battered on the doors of the packed Eagle defence, the home team relied on Heady to kick their first quarter goals as Mark Stevens did well at full back for the Camrys. Modra snapped one to open the second term and the Crows led by 14 points, but another Heady goal kept the Weegles in it as McKenna and Kemp started to get the ball. The game opened out in the third term after the now-standard Blight move of McLeod into the centre. He immediately created a goal for Vardy, then swept up a loose ball as Eagles McIntosh and Wooden left it for each other and slotted a nice running major. Crows by 19 points and they bombarded the goalposts, the Wiggle fans got that sinking feeling as McKenna departed with a hamstring strain. Ricciuto spilled a mark as the Camrys cleared their defence and White got a badly needed goal for the locals, they trailed by 16 points but the Cows cleared the next centre bounce and Vardy handballed for Jarman to kick a goal. It seemed the Eagles were playing with 17 men inside their own defensive 50m and Worsfold alone at full forward, they got a late goal when Fewster ran hard to force the ball forward and from a  throw-in in their forward pocket Banfield snapped a goal. It was obvious that Malthouse would have to open the game up if the Eagles were to have a chance and he did so in the last quarter, although that helped the Crows too. A series of slick handpasses allowed James to kick the first goal of the quarter for Adelaide, then Thiessen passed for the leading Modra to boot one and the visitors led by 31 points. The Eegs cut it back to 19 after consecutive goals for Lewis, in a forward pocket, and Ball at full forward. A brilliant smother and kick by Koster saw the Cows reply through Modra, seconds later Modra snapped another goal and the Corollas led by 31 points again. Lewis won a free off the ball and passed for Ball to major again, but then James sold a lovely dummy and kicked a nice goal, still the Adelaideians by 31 points and now Peter Matera did his hamstring. The Crows' led by 37 points when Eagle Waterman handballed directly to Crow Goodwin who converted the gift, and calculators worked overtime to discover that West Coast's percentage had dipped below that of Essendon. But Goodwin missed another simple shot and late goals from Banfield and the woeful Gehrig saved that tiny bit of face.

After struggling last week Mark Ricciuto hit back for the Crows with 26 kicks, 7 handpasses and a goal from the centre. Mark Stevens, recruited as a forward, saw off a variety of opponents at full back, Johnson was very good in defence also with 18 possessions and some tough marks. Goodwin (30 disposals, a goal) and Smart attacked in usual fashion and McLeod was again the catalyst for victory after half time, he had 17 possessions - 8 in the third quarter - and a goal. Modra finished off well with 3 last-quarter goals for a total of 4, Jarman and James kicked 2 each. For the Eagles young Read battled for 24 disposals against Ricciuto and Kemp and Cousins worked hard too, but too often they were going down the backline to get the ball. McIntosh was very good again at full back, he must be shoe-in for All Australian selection. Modra's late goals were kicked against Gehrig, who was terrible and copped plenty of stick from the crowd. Heady was their best forward with 3 early goals and Banfield ended up kicking 3 as well in a decent effort. McKenna was playing very well on Jarman before injuring his hamstring. Malthouse acknowledged the need to come up with a better forward line for next week's trip to the MCG, but he'll probably be without McKenna and Matera while Jakovich still isn't right. Blight said "We're as good a side as we were last year; we've won the same amount of games; had the fewest points kicked against us and we've had a much more consistent season…we're a little bit more experienced," he said before someone pointed out that they used 10 new players this year. Blighty laughed. He can afford to, at least until they play North again.

At the SCG:

Sydney       3.3    7.7   15.8   18.11.119
Collingwood  4.2    7.6   12.7   16.11.107

Sloppy Sydney claimed a home final with this hard-earned victory over a feisty Collingwood. It was achieved without ruckman Stafford or Roos, both late withdrawals with 'flu. During the week rumours swept Melbourne that Collingwood had signed Damian Drum to replace Tony Shaw, only for Drum himself to deny them on Friday. Shaw's fate will supposedly be decided this week, the man himself isn't confident about staying. O'Farrell and Bayes replaced the sick Swans, also in were Ahmat against his old club and Wade Chapman for his first game of the season after a series of foot problems. Out were Troy Cook with a roled ankle and Licuria was dropped. The Pies dropped Mahoney, McDonald and young Wasley for Wild, Liddell and ex-Swan Anthony Rocca.

Pies began well as Buckley and Crosisca got a heap of touches across half-back while Burns and Tony Francis got the ball forward while the Swans had Schwass and Cresswell going well. Saw a bit of the second quarter in the pub, after Francis missed a sitter early Swan Stevens got a goal, but Wild snapped a nice major and the Pies led by 17 points when Anthony Rocca kicked consecutive majors from a nice grabs. But O'Loughlin started to get involved for the locals and Stevens did well, Stevens's long attacking kick was marked and converted by Lockett, O'Loughlin kicked one and ol' Bayesy got a goal to give the locals a half-time lead. Collingwood led by as much as 3 goals well into the third quarter, Buckley had moved further afield now and got plenty of kicks, midfielders Crow and Burns got some goals. But back came the Swans, always dangerous with Lockett about, he kicked a couple more sausages and Chapman came off the bench to get one, O'Loughlin and O'Farrell got goals and the Swans appeared to be in control. But they often turned the ball over and still the Maggies pressed on into the last term, Osborne kicked a goal in his last game and with 2 minutes left they trailed by just 7 points. Tony Francis ran into attack for them but dithered too long, Orchard caught him and the ball was turned over for the Swans to kick the sealer.

O'Loughlin had another good game, he's a pleasure to watch. Here he had 27 touches, 8 marks and kicked 4 goals from the half-forward flank. Schwass (21 kicks, a goal), Cresswell (36 touches) and Stevens (25 disposals, a goal) did well midfield, O'Farrell rucked well and also kicked a couple of goals. Lockett kicked 5 goals - half as many as last time they played the Pies - and McPherson got 2, small defender Orchard played well. For Collingwood Buckley had 35 disposals, 9 marks and a goal, Scott Burns got the Sherrin 28 times and kicked 2 goals. Fringe players Wild and Anthony Rocca teased the Pie supporters, they both kicked 3 goals, Wild had 25 touches to boot and Arocca took 8 marks. Crow kicked 2 goals and had 30 touches, young Tarrant showed he might be a decent key forward if he could learn to kick straight, he booted 0.3. Sav Rocca kicked 2 goals and rucked most of the game. "They were disciplined trying to carry out the game plan," said Shaw. "But we just weren't good enough." Sums up the club. "Losing wasn't good enough," he continued, "We've got that losing mentality…you can change that with a few new personnel." Eade said "We missed targets, gave bad handballs and kicked out on the full countless times. We weren't switched on. Maybe the guys thought they were just going to win." No danger of that next week. They haven't won a home game against St. Kilda in 6 years.

At the MCG:

Melbourne  5.5   6.10   12.14   19.19.133
Richmond   1.2   4.3     6.9      8.9.57

For the third time in five years the Tigers failed to win a final-round game to claim a spot in the finals, although there was no luck involved. They got stomped upon by a far superior Melbourne team in front of 76,400, making all the "scenarios" redundant. Saved the worst 'til last, did the Tiges. %^&* it. Those damn white shorts. The Dees went in unchanged from last Monday night after initially selecting Schwarz, but he didn't make it. The Tigers emptied the hospital beds for forwards, in came Richardson with more plates inside him than a Wedgewood factory, Evans with a funny lookin' padded helmet and Holland with 167 kilometres of tape strapped around his shoulder. Out were Powell with a hamstring strain and Ottens and Manfield were dropped.

Lovely sunny day, had some lovely, sunny beers beforehand. That was the most pleasant part. The alarm bells were clanging very early as Melbourne steamed out of the centre where White won the taps and Viney and Tingay the kicks, the Dees stacked on 3 goals in as many minutes. First Lyon recovered from a pack and stabbed it through, Farmer won a free close-in as Torney crashed into him and "Wizard" ran around to hook it between the big sticks, then Matt Febey was allowed to stroll down and dob one. Luckily for us Tiges they missed a few shots, the most anticlimactic being Farmer after he took a fantastically huge screamer over Turner and Lyon. Then Neitz started to mark everything in sight as he proved too good for Bulluss. Richmond scrambled to recover and Merenda kicked their first goal, but later majors to Neitz and Farmer again had the Tiges under the pump. The second quarter was Richmond's best patch, Gaspar went onto Neitz, Knights and Broderick started to win a few possessions and Bowden got a bit happening on the forward line. White began to tire in the ruck. The Tigres kicked the first three goals of the stanza, a nice roving one for Merenda and two from good marks for Richardson and Bowden, and they got within 16 points. Luckily I was attending ablutions when Melbourne got a steadier. The third term was reasonably close early, at least in general play, but Richmond couldn't kick straight, especially Richardson, and were stopped continually by the impossibly good Ingerson at CHB. The busy Melbourne midfield continued to create chances, Farmer kept scoring and Yze, Tingay and Robertson got some goals. Late in the term B. Gale collided with a white maggot at the centre bounce and went off concussed. The pressure told in the end and despite coming home to the Punt Rd. goal the Tiges were swamped, Neitz booted three more goals in the final term as Turner went onto him, Gaspar sent forward to try and enliven the attack. The Demons cantered to victory. Disappointing trudge home during which we informed Demon members that, statistically speaking, there was a 60% chance they'd tried to vote their own club out of existence two years ago.

The Demons look very good. White's big leaps at the ball got them going (19 touches, 11 hitouts, a goal) and Tingay drove it out of the centre many times. In attack Farmer was unstoppable with 5 goals from 13 kicks and Neitz also kicked 5 goals from 17 kicks and 9 marks (6 contested). Woewodin tagged Knights and had 21 disposals himself, Rigoni was very good on Daffy and Yze picked up 25 touches and 2 goals. Ingerson played extraordinarily well at CHB, 15 possessions and 10 marks. Matthew Febey also kicked 2 goals. Not much to say for Richmond, Bowden (28 possessions, a goal) was probably the best and Knights battled hard against Woewodin for 28 disposals and was reported for an extremely soft incident in the final quarter. Merenda did well to kick 3 goals from limited opportunities, Gaspar and Andy Kellaway (21 disposals, 10 marks) played well in defence. Broderick wasn't bad. Richardson tried hard and kicked 4 goals 2. Just not good enough. "For most of the year we've been ultra-competitive all the time. Even when we got beaten at various stages we've been very competitive and disciplined, so to capitulate like that was very disappointing," said Gieschen. He's not wrong. Daniher said "We've got to fourth and a new season starts now. Our fellows (that's a very Melbourne word) don't think the journey's come to an end, we're starting again and we're hungry." Good luck to 'em.

At Football Park:

Port Adelaide  4.2    6.5   8.10  12.12.84
Carlton        9.3   12.5  17.5   21.12.138

What happened in this game is a bit of a mystery as there was no TV coverage here in Melbourne, Seven preferring a delayed telecast of the more finals-relevant Melbourne/Richmond. However it's clear that the Blues were keen to avenge their 15-goal walloping at the hands of Port earlier in the year, the game that saw Parkin and his men booed off Princes Park. And avenge it they did. It seems the "True Port Adelaide Tradition" is to fold like an Aussie dollar in the latter stages of the season, although that's a bit harsh on their young side. If anything their alleged senior players have let them down badly this year, blokes like Cummings and Heuskes. In selection Carlton dropped Hogg and Hynes for Nelson and Porter, Port were unchanged after last week's win over Fremantle.

Close early before Carlton stacked on six goals in the last 10 minutes of the first quarter. Their midfield ran riot with Camporeale, Brown and Murphy leading the way while De Iulio once again had value as shock forward with early goals. Peter Dean's arrival for his first appearance in his final game, midway through the second term, provoked another goal surge for the Blues and they were well in command at half time. Carlton's possession-heavy, chipping style deflated the Power and the Blues simply got further and further ahead as the match rolled on. Dean was carried aloft from the field at the end. Might as well get to the stats and coaches assessments, eh?

Carlton's centremen had a picnic, Camporeale had 36 possessions, 3 goals and 6 opponents, Fraser Brown 35 touches and a goal. Murphy got 31 possessions and a goal, ex-Port man Bradley had 25 touches and a goal. In attack Whitnall kicked 3 goals 4 from 14 marks - not Meady's best day - and History's Greatest Full Back dobbed 3 goals, 3 goals also for De Iulio, who had 18 kicks. Down back Koutoufides played well out of a back pocket and later at CHB. Hamill and Ratten kicked 2 goals each. For Port half-forward Eagleton was a goer with 22 disposals and 2 goals, Dickie (26 disposals) and Burgoyne (3 goals) boxed on. Francou did reasonably with 20 touches and 6 tackles. James and Dew kicked 2 goals each. Tredrea, who kicked 8 goals in that earlier game, didn't get any here. Cahill said "Their vision was very good. They'd go forward and deliver the ball and chip it, we'd just bomb from 60 metres. And we got beaten badly out of the centre. We were missing eight of our best team." On the season he said "We need to improve around the ball and up forward. We don't have that consistency you get from good, established players, we need 150-gamers to keep the younger players' confidence up. And our tackling and skills have to improve." He's right, but Port saw some kids blossom this year including Stevens, Dew, Tredrea and Lockwood and they're only going to get better. Trade Cummings for someone decent. Many stories reckoning that Cahill mightn't be re-appointed by his impatient board. Parkin reckoned "This result is a clear indication the team is now significantly better, individually and collectively. Injuries have hurt everybody at some stage, but we had four quality players not play a single game (Whitehead, Christou, Charles, Hickmott) and that's a fair handicap. But we played other players and we have eight players who are now convinced they can play and certainly we are too…That's a bonus if you get eight through in one year…we have a very good picture of where we are…We're probably short of one good running player." He praised the draft and salary cap system, a very unusual thing for a Blue man to do. I hope all you non-Carlton folk took the opportunity to kick 'em when they were down, because they weren't down for long. Both coaches tipped North to win the flag, although Cahill said the Crows were also a chance.